Nicholas Meregali, who left his home country of Brazil to live in Austin, Texas — a city that is technically the state capital but culturally just a large Whole Foods with a river — has announced he will not compete at ADCC 2026 because Krakow, Poland is ‘not even the capital city.’
The statement, which Meregali delivered with the confidence of a man who has never opened an atlas, has prompted geographers, ADCC officials, and at least one Polish grandmother to issue corrections that Krakow is, in fact, the former royal capital of Poland and a UNESCO World Heritage Site visited by 14 million tourists annually.
‘It’s the end of the world,’ Meregali added, describing a European city with a functioning airport, an 800-year-old university, and better public transit than any city in Texas.
Meregali, who holds a UFC BJJ contract that required him to relocate 5,200 miles from his birthplace to a strip mall in central Texas, apparently draws the line at traveling to a country that hosted the 2023 European Games, produces 40% of the world’s amber, and is exactly the kind of place where a Brazilian man who moved to Texas for money might feel right at home.
When asked what would make ADCC acceptable, Meregali suggested the event come to ‘a real city,’ a category that in his framework includes Austin (population: 978,000, signature landmark: a bat colony under a bridge) but excludes Krakow (population: 800,000, signature landmark: a 14th-century cathedral containing the tombs of Polish kings).
ADCC officials confirmed the event will proceed in Krakow as planned, noting that the 30 other competitors who accepted invitations managed to locate Poland on a map without incident.
At press time, Meregali was seen Googling ‘is Austin a real capital’ and quietly closing the browser tab.