Terms of Service

Agreement

By accessing The Porra (https://theporra.com), you agree to these terms. If you don't agree, you're free to leave. We won't take it personally. We've been left before. (See: every gym we've ever trained at.)

What This Site Is

The Porra is a satire and humor publication focused on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and combat sports. Our content includes:

• Pure satire — entirely fictional articles with invented characters, organizations, and events
• Snarky editorial — commentary on real events written with an opinionated voice

If an article does not explicitly state it is about real people or events, assume it is fiction. If you're still unsure, it's fiction. If you're absolutely certain it's real — it might still be fiction. That's the format.

What This Site Is Not

• A news outlet
• A source of medical, legal, or financial advice
• A substitute for actual jiu-jitsu instruction
• Something you should cite in a legal proceeding, academic paper, or argument with your professor

AI-Generated Content

Content on The Porra is AI-generated and published by BJJ Problems. Every article includes an AI disclosure. The fictional writers listed on our Writers page are characters, not real people. The content is reviewed before publication. We take responsibility for what we publish.

Intellectual Property

All original content on The Porra — articles, headlines, character names, fictional organizations — is owned by BJJ Problems. You may share articles via link. You may quote short excerpts with attribution. You may not republish entire articles without written permission.

Images used on this site are sourced from Creative Commons, public domain, or used under fair use for commentary and criticism. Image credits are provided where applicable. If you believe an image is used incorrectly, email contact@bjjproblems.com and we'll address it promptly.

User Conduct

There isn't much you can do on this site besides read. We don't have accounts, comments, or a forum. If that changes, we'll update this section. For now, the main rule is: don't scrape the site to train an AI model. We see the irony. We don't care.

Advertising

We display third-party advertisements via Google AdSense. We do not control the content of these ads. If an ad seems inappropriate, that's between you and Google's algorithm. We recommend the same approach you'd take when a white belt asks to go hard: just let it happen and move on.

Disclaimer of Warranties

The Porra is provided "as is." We make no warranties about accuracy, completeness, reliability, or fitness for any purpose. It's a satire site. If you relied on something you read here to make a real-world decision, that's on you, and honestly we'd like to hear about it because it's probably funny.

Limitation of Liability

To the maximum extent permitted by law, The Porra and BJJ Problems shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, or consequential damages arising from your use of this site. This includes but is not limited to: hurt feelings, arguments at your gym, ill-advised attempts to replicate techniques described in fictional articles, or existential crises triggered by belt system commentary.

Governing Law

These terms are governed by the laws of the United States. Any disputes will be resolved in the courts of Colorado. We'd prefer they not be resolved at all, but here we are.

Changes

We may update these terms. When we do, we'll update the date at the top. Continued use of the site means you accept the changes. We promise not to sneak anything weird in here. Probably.

Contact

Questions about these terms? Email contact@bjjproblems.com. Or don't. We're not your coach.