Gym Owner Spends $3,000 On Professional Photographer; Every Photo Features Same Five Students Who Were The Only Ones To Show Up

Apex MMA owner hires a professional photographer for an Instagram content refresh. On shoot day, exactly five students attend — the same five who attend every class — producing 47 photos that all feature the same people in slightly different positions.

Gym Owner Spends $3,000 On Professional Photographer; Every Photo Features Same Five Students Who Were The Only Ones To Show Up

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Derek Hollis spent $3,000 on a professional photographer to build out Iron Summit Jiu-Jitsu’s Instagram presence. The photographer, Megan Cho, arrived at 6:45 p.m. on a Tuesday with two camera bodies, three lenses, a reflector, and a lighting rig rated for stadium events.

Five students were on the mat.

“The others are running late,” Hollis told Cho at 6:50. He said it again at 7:15, and once more at 7:40, by which point Cho had already shot 200 frames of the same five people from every conceivable angle.

The five — Kevin, Marcus, a woman named either Dana or Diana whose name no one has clarified in four years of training together, and two blue belts Hollis introduces differently each time — attend every class. Tuesday at 7. Saturday at 10. Thursday no-gi. The holiday class Hollis scheduled on Christmas Eve to prove commitment. The makeup class during a Category 2 hurricane warning that only they and the roofing contractor next door knew was happening.

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Cho, whose portfolio includes corporate headshots and wedding receptions of 200-plus guests, told colleagues she had “never shot fewer subjects with more creative direction.” Hollis requested action shots, portrait shots, technique demonstrations, “candid community vibes,” and at least one photo that “shows the culture.” He also asked if she could make it “look like more people” through angles. She could not.

The resulting Instagram feed features 47 photos posted over six weeks. In 44 of them, Kevin is visible. Marcus appears in all 47, though in nine he is partially obscured by Kevin, who is larger. The two blue belts appear interchangeably. Cho later admitted she was not certain they were two separate people until the third outfit change. Dana — or Diana — is in 38 photos, always in the same purple gi, which she wore to all three shoot sessions because Hollis scheduled them on Tuesdays.

The captions:

“Our community is unmatched.” Five people.

“This isn’t a gym. It’s a family.” Five people. Two of whom are actually related.

“The energy in here is different.” It was a Tuesday.

“You don’t find this kind of loyalty anywhere else.” This part is technically accurate.

Hollis has posted each photo with a minimum of eleven hashtags, including #BJJLifestyle, #MatCulture, #TeamWork, and #GymFamily. Combined engagement across all 47 posts: 83 likes. Seventy-one are from the five students, their immediate family members, and Cho’s business account, which auto-likes client content.

At press time, Hollis was in negotiations with a videographer for a gym promotional video. He has requested drone footage.

AI-generated satire. This article was written by an AI trained on years of BJJ content. None of this is real news. Do not cite The Porra in legal proceedings, belt promotions, or arguments with your professor.